One-day Retreat Practice for Compassion

By Mira Kingsley

“The total amount of happiness in the world comes from trying to make others happy. The total amount of unhappiness in the world comes from trying to make yourself happy.” - Master Shantideva

Celebrate the amazing good fortune to have just one day for retreat. No one in sight. All communication devices, including your own voice, silenced. Window blinds closed so even birds flying by don’t distract you from your solitude. When you are totally isolated, as alone as you can possibly be, sit down on your cushion, close your eyes and then? What would be the best thing for you to think about now that you finally have some peace and quiet?

The perfect answer lies in the seminal Buddhist text by Master Shantideva, “A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.” In the chapter on the perfection of meditative concentration, he says that if we wish to bring about our own happiness quickly then we should go into retreat and meditate on the practice of “equalizing and exchanging self for others.” In other words, think about someone else’s suffering.

Many meditations fall within the category of “equalizing and exchanging self for others.”  They’re heart-opening practices aimed at combating our selfishness and deepening our capacity for compassion.

Tong Len, the practice of giving and taking, offers a powerful method for equalizing and exchanging self for others. In this meditation, you take on and eliminate another’s suffering. Then you give the person complete happiness in return.

Follow this link to learn and practice a beautiful Tong Len meditation led by Lama Christie McNally, http://tinyurl.com/yjrfozy. You can also find a full description of the meditation in Lama Christie’s new book, “The Tibetan Book of Meditation.” And for a weekend Tonglen retreat workshop taught by Geshe Michael Roach, including meditations and materials, go to: http://tinyurl.com/ykfk2vc

Pick someone in your life who you see suffering physically or mentally and dedicate your one day of retreat to helping him. Do the meditation practice of giving and taking with that person in mind three to four times during your retreat day. In between meditation sessions, read a text that focuses on compassion. After your retreat, rejoice in the goodness that you’ve done for that person who needed your help.