Maintaining Silence During Group Retreat

By Irma Gomés

People expect different things from a group retreat. For some, it is an exciting and new way of getting to know other people. For others, it is a unique opportunity to calm the mind, to listen to the inner dialogue and perhaps to quiet it.

Here are a few tips on what to do if you want to stay in silence during a group retreat.

1. Find out beforehand if there will be mandatory silence or look for retreats that encourage it.

2. Train: Before you go into retreat, speak only when necessary during your daily activities. Avoid idle talk.

3. Make a firm determination to keep your silence. Bring a badge or label that says "In silence" to wear during the days you want to be silent.

4. Understand that silence also means no texting, writing notes or sign language. The idea is to cut off all forms of communication, not only verbally.

5. Have a list of all the things you would possibly want to know and ask them when you arrive. If you keep a special diet, let the kitchen know before you start.

6. If there is an introductory session, ask the facilitator to mention that you are in silence and you would like the group’s support. 

7. Eat your meals by yourself. Listening to others' conversations promotes inner dialogue as well.

8. When approaching others, look down when possible and avoid eye contact. If you wish to speak to certain people, give yourself the last day to do so. Let them know at the beginning of the retreat.

9. Wear earplugs: Less outside noise, more inner silence.

10. When you start your retreat, generate love in your heart for all living beings who are suffering. Make your goal that the less you communicate for the next few days, the sooner you'll be able to help them be perfectly happy. At the end of each day, dedicate the merit of keeping your silence, for example, to the long life of your holy Teachers.